All grown up and nowhere to go


Posted on: January 12, 2008

This post is about being motionless in all the meanings of the word.

 YZ has flown off back to London. Won’t get to see him for at least another 3 months. I need to book my flight there and book it soon, but I’m kinda afraid of telling my parents that I want to spend at least a month overseas for a grad trip cum boyfriend visit. It’s all fine and dandy if I can afford the trip on my own, but if they disapprove they have the financial strength to stop me from going. So I’m just really scared.

 Anyway. Now that he’s gone, it’s like the motion picture has ended and normal life has to resume. No more cabbing to his place and then walking over to Cold Storage to buy donuts and groceries. Ordering Mac breakfast for him and waiting for him to reach my place. Attempting to study / plan our trip and ending up playing online poker instead. Watching rented DVDs and driving over to Macs in the midst of it because of hunger pangs. The occasional splurge at Orchard. And when he crashed my BP class, he was online shopping for a pair of sneaks from Paul Smith on sale. On impulse (because I just found out I wasn’t gonna be jobless after all) I told him to use my debit card to pay with. He obliged, since his HSBC one wasn’t working.

 His absence just made it all the more obvious how difficult this is gonna be. Especially if he keeps telling me how fat my cheeks are. *Sigh*. Life’s hard.

I can’t seem to get anything together. My citizenship application is still pending, my CFA registration is still pending (because the scholarship code isn’t working), I’ve still got to take fresh passport-sized pictures for job purposes… I guess the latest one was quite a flaky complaint, but then again I can barely walk at normal speed so it really is that troublesome to move my butt down to a photo studio.

The Reason Why I Can Barely Walk at Normal Speed

Last Sunday, after sending YZ off, I was lying on my couch reading Gossip Girl. Fell asleep. Felt uncomfortable on the couch and wanted to shift to my room to continue my nappy nap. Groggily woke up, felt giddy because of a blood condition I have which causes a lack of oxygen. I saw some obstacle blocking my way (think it was my sis or something), tried to avoid it, then tripped. Left foot gave way, something snapped, and then I screamed. It. Was. Fucking. Painful.

Two A&E visits and days later, discovered that not only did I:

a) fracture the side bone
(me: ‘is it what you’ll call a hairline fracture?’
doctor: ‘no. It is a fracture. A small one, but a fracture.’)

I also

b) tore a ligament
(orthopedic: ‘we’ll need to do an MRI, it might be torn completely and you’d have to go for surgery.’
me: ‘what’s the probability that a trip will cause a complete tear?’
orthopedic: ‘… we’ll see after the MRI.’).

So in a day I busted over $1.5k on medical bills and received more drugs than I can pop inside my mouth. Anti-swelling, painkillers, calcium tablets, muscle relaxants, anti-muscle relaxants… Some to be taken after food, three times a day, twice a day, once every morning while avoiding caffeine, twice a day before food, at bedtime… blah di blah di blah. I’d need to draw up a diagram just to get them all right.

 And I get to wear a brace, supposedly for 8 weeks! Yippee! Now what I’ll do is, once the swelling goes down (and it is… very slowly… but it is…) I’d just wear the brace around the house. I can’t keep wearing my mum’s oversized driving slippers to school. It drives me nuts.

 To suspend my life in vacuum for a little bit longer, I’m gonna watch Gossip Girl and pretend that nothing is happening. No school. No injured foot. No boyfriend flying off to acquire a Brit accent (Dr Tan, I want to hear that accent soon! Haha).

I love you. 😦


1 Response to "standstill"

omg. are you okay, babe? sounds bad. anything i can do to alleviate the pain? (although i am no doctor!)

anywayyyyy when i saw your blog, i thought i was reading mine. HAHA.

anna v.

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