All grown up and nowhere to go

Archive for July 2008

Trust the US to use blatant euphemisms:

White House Calls For Support From Big Emerging Market Economies

WASHINGTON (AFP)–The U.S. expressed concern Friday over “a few large emerging market economies” it said could stand in the way of a global trade pact, even amid the optimism expressed at ongoing WTO talks.

White House spokesman Tony Fratto said the U.S., represented in Geneva by US Trade Representative Susan Schwab, “is playing a leading role in moving these talks forward,” as key trading nations have reached a breakthrough in the trade liberalization talks.

“Significant issues still remain to be resolved, and we remain concerned that a few large emerging market economies are failing to join a growing consensus,” added Fratto, who declined to name the countries.

“It is critical that these few large emerging market economies contribute to a successful outcome in these discussions.”

Ministers from 35 leading economies have been meeting in Geneva all week to discuss reductions in subsidies and import tariffs with the aim of mapping out a new deal, called the Doha Round, to boost world trade.

The Doha Round was launched in the Qatari capital seven years ago but has foundered because of disputes between the rich developed world and poorer developing nations on trade in farm and industrial products.

Earlier Friday, Schwab warned that a handful of countries could still ruin the emerging consensus.

“There are a handful of large emerging markets that quite frankly risk unraveling the entire package,” she said in reference to a draft agreement under discussion.

Argentina said it would be unwilling to accept the proposed agreement as it stands and diplomatic sources told AFP that India was also not supporting to deal.

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Today, I rediscovered the fact that I’m not a very good poker player. Was so disappointed in myself. I had fantastic hands in which I betted too aggressively too soon. I had mediocre hands in which I betted too aggressively as well. I was impatient the whole night. I suppose quarreling doesn’t help, in which case I shouldn’t have started playing before I cooled down.

But whatever. I was playing a game with unknown stakes, only knew the real stakes after it was over. And it results in me only retiring at 3.30 am in the morning, compounded by the Story of the Pillow.

The Story of The Pillow:

I bought a new pillow yesterday. Jap brand, very pouffy and soft. Syd said all pillows have the same size so I had no qualms. So just now at 3.15 am I was removing the pillow cover off the old, flat, lifeless and probably droolfull old pillow and putting it over the new Jap one.

No matter how much I squeezed, it still wouldn’t go in. Honest. Even the chambermaid at Ritz Carlton who should be expert at making beds would not have managed to squeeze the Jap pillow in. It’s just too pouffy for my flat pillow cover.

So I suppose it’s true that there’s only one pillow size in Singapore, but it’s a different size from the uni-size pillow of Indonesia, which was where my pillow cover was from.

But anyway, that episode left me very frustrated. I’m currently resting my back against a misshapen lump that’s the half-squeezed in Jap pillow. Its shape wouldn’t budge no matter how much I whacked it, as if a testimony of my failure.

But I do digress. Despite the fact that the digression is partly relevant as it results in much added frustration. In fact, I’m starting to feel like a relationship is just like pillow-cover-fitting. Sometimes, when you buy a potentially comfortable-looking pillow, it might not work out. Because the pillow simply wouldn’t fit the cover no matter how hard you squeeze it. In the end, you end up sweaty and upset, your pillow cover ripped and you can’t even punch the stubborn pillow to hurt it because your fist will just bounce right back.

And I’m just wondering, you can’t throw away the pillow after you’ve just bought it. So what, do you take the time to sew a new pillow cover after getting the pillow’s measurements right? Or do you simply hang on day by day, hoping to fit the cover onto the pillow by some lucky break one night? To be honest, the latter sounds quite stupid and it is indeed stupid.

Sewing a new pillow cover takes time though, and it needs the pillow’s co-operation. What if everytime you put a tape measure over it, the pillow slides right through? Despite the fact that you’re showing the pillow that you’re trying your best, the pillow keeps quiet and doesn’t say anything, and repeats its act every night of not getting into the pillow cover.

Frickin’ Japanese pillows. Goddamnit.

It’s been ape years since I last blogged, and don’t wanna talk about work because it’s too depressing so yes, let’s talk about that ex-significant other who got away.

Everyone has them. The Ones Who Got Away, I mean. For each person there’s that particular ex-lover/fling/bf/gf who left and left you devastated. You know, that boy you met and dated for two weeks and then never called you back. Or the one night stand that still burns your mind whenever you think about her. Or the girlfriend of five years who suddenly freaked out and cut off all contacts. Basically, The One Who Got Away is the one person you’re no longer with but still think about from time to time, wondering ‘what if?’, etc etc. The One Who Got Away left you with a scar, but you still sort of fancy them, sort of.

Wonder why that is? I suppose it is human nature to always long for something that you know you can’t have. It’s the idea that attracts you to The One Who Got Away. The person him/herself may not necessarily be all that. My theory is that, if The One Who Got Away did not in fact get away, you may discover that the spark disappears pretty quickly.

But because they DID get away, they become all that more attractive.

Hmmmm.

Deep.

Or not. I is gonna sleep. Tired.

But as you grow older, it does feel rather painful remembering them. The vivid ones where you see yourself doing your dream job (and I’m defining ‘job’ loosely here, a.k.a acting/singing/dancing/winning the lottery each month) and live happily ever after.

I don’t know why but I started checking out my older posts *gaaaasp I can’t believe I’ve had this blog for 6 months* and got very sad indeed. The nearer I came to work life, the narrower my aspirations become, and the more mundane my thoughts are.

I need to keep those dreams wild, alive and kicking.

And I need to be less emo-abstract in my posts, am gonna forcibly make myself not so serious.

‘Why so serious?’ – indeed, The Joker’s got it right.

I wish it had never come.*

But it did, in a battered envelope, and there I was wondering if it was yet another solicitation for donation. Which I was going to make anyway, once I earn enough to pay off my debts to the cbkia, but the more they solicit it, the more I feel like I’m being made to do it instead of doing it on my own account, encouraging me to change my mind. But I’m rambling. But but but.

Seriously speaking, where do I want to end up in life? Should I try to earn money fast and retire early, or should I set a pace to end up in management level of a reputable company? When I was sitting in the CFO’s office, right across a small table from him, talking to him, all I could think of was, wow, he’s the CFO. I want to be him. He exuded an unspeakable aura. I hate it when people don’t take me seriously, don’t believe I’m good enough. When I’m CFO, they’ll finally shut up.

Then again, I don’t know if I can wait so long. It’s hard work all the way up, and I am lazy, fickle, impatient.

And how do you compare success with others? Salary. Those specialists, they’ll probably make enough money to throw around in my face by the time I make it up there. In fact, not even then, now.

Or go into accounting? Apply overseas, slack working hours, earn good money when converted back.

Eurgh, I dunno. The sensible way is to wait it out, but I keep thinking about seemingly-better alternative arrangements…

Hmmm.

*OK, then again, I could use the money, so forget I ever said anything.

Free cab rides after 9 pm. So my plan is, I’m gonna stick around the office until exactly 9 pm sharp and then go home.

I really loathe taking bus back (long journey, packed, jolty ride) so yes, that’s the plan.

It took me 3 days to get into the pace of work. I walked around with tired eyes for that period, silently whining to myself about the lack of afternoon naps and so on. And then on the third day at 8 pm, I was just doing some Excel stuff when I literally woke up. Like, I felt myself wake up and get an infusion of energy out of nowhere. I’m starting to think it’s possibly to work late, party afterwards, then get to work the next day.

Maybe after I’m finally done with the little project I’m doing for the CFO. Received the task on the very first day, before I even met the department for my first rotation. Fast-paced much!