All grown up and nowhere to go

the SMU letter that jolts my brain

Posted on: July 5, 2008

I wish it had never come.*

But it did, in a battered envelope, and there I was wondering if it was yet another solicitation for donation. Which I was going to make anyway, once I earn enough to pay off my debts to the cbkia, but the more they solicit it, the more I feel like I’m being made to do it instead of doing it on my own account, encouraging me to change my mind. But I’m rambling. But but but.

Seriously speaking, where do I want to end up in life? Should I try to earn money fast and retire early, or should I set a pace to end up in management level of a reputable company? When I was sitting in the CFO’s office, right across a small table from him, talking to him, all I could think of was, wow, he’s the CFO. I want to be him. He exuded an unspeakable aura. I hate it when people don’t take me seriously, don’t believe I’m good enough. When I’m CFO, they’ll finally shut up.

Then again, I don’t know if I can wait so long. It’s hard work all the way up, and I am lazy, fickle, impatient.

And how do you compare success with others? Salary. Those specialists, they’ll probably make enough money to throw around in my face by the time I make it up there. In fact, not even then, now.

Or go into accounting? Apply overseas, slack working hours, earn good money when converted back.

Eurgh, I dunno. The sensible way is to wait it out, but I keep thinking about seemingly-better alternative arrangements…


*OK, then again, I could use the money, so forget I ever said anything.


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