All grown up and nowhere to go

the fat of the matter

Posted on: February 16, 2009

I’m officially blubber.

Despite resolutions to not overeat during Chinese New Year, I somehow ended up with an expanded tummy. How? How did this happen? What stealth methods did the fats use to get to me, some kind of ninjutsu / trick of the mind / cloud of illusion??

They must have hidden well behind that layer of ba kwa, or that golfball of a pineapple tart (sinful as hell, had me breaking out in pimples from all the oozy oil). All food courtesy of my colleagues. As a result of which, I can only look skinny if I suck my tummy right in and hold it there. That works pretty well actually. The only downside is I start to turn puce after a few seconds, and I can’t seem to do anything about the constipated expression on my face.

Well, no more I tell you, no moooooore!!!

I shall get into a healthy diet consisting of water and gym. No dinner appointments shall come in the way of good health. If thoust be my friendth, thou shalt let me drink water.

This post isn’t making sense, am drooping to sleep. Next time will follow Andri’s advice to up the publicity of this blog by posting pictures of self, Photoshopped to make eyes 2x as big a la that Dawn Yam chick who’s so famous, and endorse items to earn munny. But actually I have already endorsed several things…

1) Ba kwa
2) Golfball pineapple tart
3) Water diet

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