All grown up and nowhere to go

Archive for March 2009

There is something truly magical about night time. In the darkness, everything transforms. Street lamps glow that more mysterious, the ordinary becomes the extraordinary, and the devils awake in our hearts to play with sins.

We undulate like dancers in the night, covered with sexy slinky slithery darkness, we become invincible. Alcohol downed imbues strength, vices prevail and money pays for pleasure with the shuffling of cards, a deft twist of roulette fate, the glowing window display of prostitutes.

Forests hold fort to ghosts, our shadows in the street wave hello. Only the sliver of moon above bears witness to frisky couples in parks, uncoupled from their righteous partners. A few more suicidal thoughts sneak into someone’s head – a calling, a longing.

Magic, so dangerous, yet it stirs a warmth in our bellies… The hunger of something to die for.



Okies, I have officially started dancing again. I did this just so the poker gang can legitimately use my old nickname again – the Dancing Brain.

Nah. You kidding?

Went to O School, and dragged Syd along to the intermediate class. I was really apprehensive about the word ‘intermediate’ seeing as I haven’t danced since I injured my foot back in… well, Jan last year. But I suppose it’s kinda like cycling, your muscles remember what to do. Except that I haven’t got many muscles left. No stamina. How sad! But I should pick it up in no time again. Syd loathed it and didn’t want to go back, but let’s see what I can extort her with.

On to other news, I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned but I managed to extend my stint with the team.


Lastly, Fatfat* news. Daddy Fatfat has just informed me over the phone that Fatfat is eating and doing fine. Daddy Fatfat hisself is procrastinating. Makes me wonder if he’ll procrastinate during a surgery next time, or dig his nose while a line of patients wait outside his consulting room.

*For a $2 goldfish, it’s bringing us loads of entertainment.

Check out for High Stakes Poker Season 5. Dwan is cute and plays a little like someone I know… 😉

I admit it, I iz getting addicted again. After a few months of hiatus I might as well have shut down my online accounts. Can’t remember my username or passwords, don’t even know how much I have inside. Now I know how these poker websites make money. They just wait for half-hearted players like yours truly to get bored one day, sign up, and then forget the accounts forevermore.

But in any case, the game is revving up again, no thanks to the SMU Poker Champ hisself Mr Andri who lives, breathes, talks poker. I told the boys I’ve come up with a new strategy to be practiced on our next regular game and that should be interesting… I don’t think I am as strong as most of them, and I don’t read very well, basing my actions on the bet amounts rather than the person. (In any case, I think our regular table has quite strong players because if I sit in an outside table, there’s not nearly as much mind games and tough decisions to make. You can usually tell who the fish is with one glance around the table, who will bleed chips, who will have an excellent run of cards but won’t know how to use it well). Nicked Super System from the doc to glean some insights from the Doylie. He has some life story to tell. A roller-coaster life really befitting his character and profession.

In other departments of my life, I’m hoping to start dancing again next week, which will strike one new year’s resolution at least. I would also be going to Greece in the summer, which will fulfill 1/3 of the seeing new countries requirement. Disappointed that I haven’t made much progress in the other resolutions, but I hope to conjure up some spine and follow through with them this year. I am tired of feeling disappointed in myself. I think I’ve been projecting the insecurity and the sadness from within all this while, which deterred me from being more successful.

Citi at $1.03 came at no surprise – I was telling some of my colleagues last week that it will probably dip below a buck, just because I feel that’s where market tolerance would be… If I had some spare cash, I would buy a few lots. It’s not a sure-win, but it’s certainly a gamble with very very limited downside. If this bank survives the next few quarters, it will bounce back up to at least $8 in no longer than 1.5 years. That is a 700% profit, p.a. return at 500% ish? If it goes under, you lose some spare change… and all hells break loose with a depressed state of the world. Leverage.

I will try out to be a dealer (of the casino kind) if this doggone world of investment banking really goes kaput.

March 2009
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