All grown up and nowhere to go

laxatives

Posted on: May 24, 2009

So today, after morning church session, my brother asked my dad if we have any laxatives in the house.

My mum doesn’t know what ‘laxatives’ mean (her command of English is limited to accounting terms and the word ‘NO’), so my brother said, “Things that make you shit.”

My mum started scolding him for not eating enough vegetables. If he’d just eaten more vegetables, he wouldn’t need laxatives in the first place. The fiber is good for him. She doesn’t understand why, why he must refuse to eat his vegetables.

So then my brother said, “It’s not for me.”

My mum asked who is it for? And my mind was going, damn is the girl he likes suffering from constipation, and does he think it’s a good idea to give laxatives as a  gift???

My brother said, “It’s for my friend. I want to put it in his food.”

So my mother used the most powerful English word ever.

“NO!”

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