All grown up and nowhere to go

top ten life’s unanswered questions

Posted on: November 30, 2009

Just got back from Bangkok, which left Jing somehow unfulfilled as she claimed she didn’t buy enough new clothes. As she announced her intention to continue shopping online, I’m left wondering if my Forever21 shipment has come in yet.

Top 10 Life’s Unanswered Questions:

#1. Why is it that when you come back from a holiday, you always expect a barrage of new exciting developments to have cropped up while you’re away? E.g. for random people to text you while your phone is off, or for exciting mails to come… Just to be underwhelmed when you finally reach home and find everything exactly the way it was when you left it. Pah.

We had some lovely massage sessions in BKK, one of which involved a tour round the city in search for Healthland Spa. That was prolly the only sightseeing we did, rest of the time was spent in Plat / Chatuchak market. There’s a pretty affordable massage parlor (? not sure if I should call it that, since parlor has a negative connotation to it) near our hotel, and we had foot massage done and…

#2. What’s the appropriate reaction when your foot keep brushing against the masseuse’s boobs?

I mean, I’m sitting on a chair with my legs laid straight out, so when she bends over to reach the calf / knee areas, my footsole will definitely hit something. I just wished it wasn’t the jackpot, and not so frequently at that. And then, besides the foot-boob graze, I also experienced back of head-boob graze when she massaged my shoulders and back. And then, on another occasion (Thai massage), it was knee-boob graze. I don’t know why but I have the feeling I’m the only one feeling violated here.

#3. When you drink beer with senior colleagues / clients, how do you cover up the burps?

That question just popped to mind during the knee-graze Thai massage session.

#4. What happens when you need to let out gas during a spa/bikini wax/scrub session?

OK this is a bit gross but it can happen to anyone! Thought about it after the burp thought… You obviously can’t just go POOT in the middle of things, but holding it in is a pain. Letting it out silently isn’t really an option, since the whole room will smell like you just let one out silently. Maybe it’s best to just go POOT?

I haven’t really thought about the other 6 questions, but I’m sure there are more. Like,

#5. When the tuk-tuk driver refuses to drive you all the way to your hotel, rather stopping at a market area and asking you to cross the market to reach the hotel, do you remain in the tuk-tuk until he sends you to your intended destination, or do you give up and walk across the market?? This scenario is after 5 hours of shopping, with blisters in between your toes from flip-flop chafing, and a ton of bags to carry.

#6. Can you actually sue a tuk-tuk driver?

#7. Does a tuk-tuk have a car plate number?

#8. Are tuk-tuk drivers all assholes???

(added as an afterthought)

#9. How much do tuk-tuk drivers earn?

#10. Can a tuk-tuk driver sue me for calling him an asshole?

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