All grown up and nowhere to go

in pursuit of happyness

Posted on: May 23, 2010

It’s taken two long years of disillusioned work for Xxxx, one year of mostly singlehood, half a bed’s worth mountain of clothes, four stacks of new unread paperbacks and 3 branded shoe boxes to realize this, but I finally get it.

1. Money doesn’t buy you happiness.

2. Material things don’t make you feel content.

3. A good-paying job will always be not enough as long as you hate it.

Even 8 months bonus feels like cat piss when your mental well-being is put to the test every single day, when your Xxxx sprays spit at you. I chose not to go for IBD jobs for a reason – to not have to go through the shit that IBD Analysts are put through. So why am I overworked, underpaid (relative to the amount of work that I do), and most importantly – so unhappy?

Please, please don’t ever sit on your laurels and ‘go with the flow’. If you think you can do better, then stop whatever you are doing and seize the day. If you want to act but can’t even put up a decent poker face, go to acting school. If you want to dance, go for it and be embarrassed in the first few dance lessons – it will get better, you will improve. If you want to be a trader – start taking risks. This is me telling myself: quit the job you hate and beg, lie, cheat, steal for the one you love. Trade salary for passion – it will be the smartest thing anyone has ever done, and I am proud and jealous to know at least 2 people who have been brave enough to face the music.

Passion is the most important thing. Being able to afford (on credit) branded things does not satisfy a person. I will never, ever trade the companionship of a loved one for a pair of Louboutins. Louboutins will not give you lasting contentment even if they lie next to you in bed – although you will probably sleep better with the calming scent of pig skin red sole.

800-dollar dresses are still dresses that go out of style, that you grow out of after 6 months of stress-eating. Material things don’t last, just as flirt-of-the-days don’t — they are just there to distract you from the black hole, the soul-sucking job.

I can’t believe I hate my job so much now that I have to blog about it and risk the consequences, but I don’t care any more – I hate my job and I will do anything and everything to do what I really want to do. No matter how long it takes, no matter the financial consequences. I would rather wear the same clothes every day for the rest of the year because I can’t afford new ones from This Fashion (or ASOS, since exchange rate is quite favorable at the mo) than to feel miserable being a slave to Xxxx.

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2 Responses to "in pursuit of happyness"

-pats pats-

knowing you want out is a baby step towards happiness. i have no doubts that you’ll find sth you like v soon.

hey darling.

i love your entry, probably because i’m feeling the same way. but i’m scared, what if this was a wrong choice? yet, i feel like im rotting away, wasting my golden years, my youth on something im not meant to do.

haha maybe we went to the wrong school. but heyy, if you need to talk or whine, call me plsss!xx

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